Incoming Inspirational Magnet

“I didn’t mean to.  It was an accident.”

Steve glanced across at Charley, unsure how she was going to react.  He could see her eyes dart about the kitchen trying to take it all in.  He’d fucked up big time and he knew it.

“I don’t see how this could be an accident Steve”
“I was just making toast”
“Well I gathered that much seeing as it’s right where the toaster used to be I just don’t understand how!”
“I don’t either!  Honestly!  I just put in a few slices”
“A few?”
“Well four”
“It’s a two-slice toaster Steve, how many times do I have to tell you?!”
“But it’s never done this before!”
“I can’t imagine any toaster has done this before!”
“How was I supposed to know…”
“What else did you do?  You must have done something!”
“No, honest!  I put the bread in and put the lever down, turned the grill on ready, then went to the fridge to get the cheese…  I can’t have been more than a minute!”
“Then what?”
“Then I turned around and it was…gone…”
“There must be something else, Steve.  A black hole doesn’t just materialise in the middle of a fourth-floor flat!”

Despite knowing exactly what he would see, Steve glanced over towards the counter where the toaster once stood.  In its place there sat a circle of black.  Well not sat exactly, hovered.  Hovered and swirled.  But it also didn’t swirl.  It was clearly constantly moving but it was so dark it was hard to tell quite what it was doing.  But swirling, it was definitely swirling.

“How the fuck, Steve?!  Like seriously!?  A fucking black hole!  I mean, you can’t even put flatpack together so how the hell you managed to create a black hole in the middle of the kitchen I have no idea!”

As Charley screeched on at him, Steve could see the magnets on the fridge rattling.  This was definitely not a good sign.

“Get down”
“What?  Are you even listening to me you idiot?!”
“I said get down!”

Steve launched himself across the kitchen island, grabbing Charley as he slid to the floor, just as one of her inspirational fridge magnets flew across the room, right through the space where Charley’s head had just been.

“What the fuck you idiot?  Get off me!”
“I just saved you from a fridge magnet through the brain!”
“If it weren’t for you this wouldn’t be happening in the first place!  This is ridiculous!”
“Did you get a receipt for the toaster?”
“I hardly think ‘transported to another universal plain’ comes under the twelve-month warranty, Steve!”
“But it must be defective or something”

All of a sudden, a violent rattle began to emanate from the cutlery draw.  They both turned, eyes wide as knives and forks hurtled across the kitchen, disappearing into the black hole which seemed to be growing with every item it engulfed.  The magnets were all gone, the larger utensils flew after the cutlery and the blender was edging its way down the counter.

“What have you done Steve?  What have you started?”


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